me: enough small talk
#it’s like the last day of shore leave #and kirk and spock are just relaxing and all of a sudden kirk is like ”shit! we forgot to get something for the kids!” #and spock is all ”captain you don’t have to get presents for the crew every time - ” #and kirk just interrupts with ”CHEKOV’S FACE.” #and spock considers this and then wordlessly gets up and heads in the direction of the souvenir stand
Science experiment: Who is easiest to summon?
The only way to find out is to reblog and wait. Wait patiently. Just wait. It will be good I promise.
fuck you vegans aren’t your source of entertainment you animal killers.
and the vegan wins
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING
i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid
I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face